I experienced a moment of weakness last night. After a stressful day at school and a verbal conflict with an aggressive colleague, my emotional strength was low. I knowingly ate some nachos with meat during happy hour with friends after work. I just didn't want to fight or resist anything anymore. The beers helped me not care. It was one of those moments when you worry yourself, one of those moments when you want to forget and erase. This experiment is showing me to myself.
Normally alcohol is a fun accessory to time out with friends. This time it felt like needed medication. Alcoholism runs in my family, and my dad has always warned me to be careful. I had three beers last night, and I don't think the quantity is a problem. But my attitude calls my attention. It's interesting that the vegetarian experiment was the vehicle for showing me something else about myself.
Today I'm feeling much better and have been enjoying healthy, veggie treats again. I worked on National Boards diligently all morning and then attended a Community Meeting for Yoga Behind Bars. The hummus, olive and fig spread, hearty bread, chai, carrots, apples and jam fueled me along this experiment. Again, I see that healthy people encourage my ongoing healthy food choices. More importantly, it was inspiring to hear the experiences of other volunteers. To hear about the energy inside jails and prisons, to learn about new meditation techniques, to value the small pieces of time we give...these things matter. My free class at the New Holly Teen Center matters to those 10 little girls.
They live better, healthier lives because of our 2 hours a month. It may not seem like much, but it's something. Despite the challenges and mistakes, I continue walking along this life and this experiment doing and giving the best I can.