Wednesday, June 6, 2012

Confronting change

Change is hard and often stressful.  I'm making some big decisions in my life right now and staring change straight in the face.  My current experience is teaching me about how to welcome and gracefully handle change.  Here's my current situation...I'm considering moving home to my parents' house for 4 months before moving in with my boyfriend in January.  Here are two VERY different scenarios that have passed through my head:
1. OH MY GOD, no one will ever rent my condo.  It's the size of a shoebox with no washer/dryer/dishwasher/parking.  If I ever do get a renter, they'll probably trash the place and destroy my beautiful floors.  I'll be stuck paying my mortgage while my boyfriend pays all the bills, resents me and breaks up with me in a ball of flames.  By moving home, I'll have to sell my stuff, give up my life and admit complete failure at everything.


2.  I am so happy the day I pay off my credit card and dance around the living room with extra money in the bank.  My parents love seeing me more and our relationship has never been better.  I'm feeling fit and healthy from all the runs with the dog and less late nights out partying.  My friends love our weekend sleepovers.  My renter is awesome and pays on time every month.  My boyfriend is thrilled that I've spent more time at his place the last few months and is stoked to move in together in the city.  We have first-and-last-month's rent saved with extra money for decorating.  We are so blissfully happy, the move goes smoothly, and we fall even more in love.

These exaggerated scenarios keep swirling around in my head.  Here is my first learning about change.  Have faith.  I've conquered every other life challenge up to this point, so I know I can make it through this one.  My mentor, Mastin Kipp, inspires me through many life experiences.  Here's what he wrote about change in the Daily Love.

“We have faith the MOMENT we take a step out into the unknown – even if – and especially if – we are terrified to do it. That is what faith is all about. And consider, that the crazy and unforeseen things that happen in your life are preceding something amazing. Maybe this is exactly how it had to be, so that your prayer COULD be answered. Maybe this thing that seems like a disaster, or not fair or something totally scary IS the answer to your prayer. And instead of asking for a lighter load, perhaps it’s time we have more emotional muscle.

It takes balls, guts and total belief to walk on the Path. Because the further along you go, the bigger the test is. Remember this: wherever you doubt – THERE is the edge and limit of your faith. Maybe you trust The Uni-verse to help you find a parking lot, yet you fret about the rent. Perhaps you trust The Uni-verse to provide a moment of synchronicity when a friend calls you right as you are thinking about them, but you don’t trust The Uni-verse to deliver to you the perfect romance at the perfect time.

The goal is to surrender it ALL! To let it ALL GO and detach from the outcome and step into the unknown, knowing that you are guided and you are safe. And that even in the middle of the crazy shit that goes down sometimes, it’s all a divine soup that is creating the perfect outcome for you right now, even if you can’t see that in this moment."

Now I am ready to answer the call, seize this opportunity and detach from the outcome.  I trust the Universe to find me a renter, infuse my relationship with even more love and take care of me every step of the way.  It's a fresh time in my life with newness and possibility.  I welcome change with open arms.

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