Back to Life

This first week back from India has been so interesting.  I feel like I'm an outsider in my own life and witnessing all of the people, places and events from afar.  It's like my vision has been cleared, and I see my whole life as "big picture."  I'm not back at work yet, so I have no routine, no serious obligations and my life is just wide open.

When I got back on Friday, I felt overwhelmed and in love with my boyfriend, Kevin.  He cleaned our entire place, left me a sweet note, came home with flowers and took me out to dinner.  I had been dreaming about that big, long hug for weeks.  As we sat at an outdoor Mexican place on our bustling street, I was looking around like a tourist, like I'd never been there before.  I was even looking at Kevin and thinking, "Wow, this guy's cute," as though he wasn't already "mine."  I was more quiet than usual because I didn't immediately verbalize every thought that came into my head.  It was such a strange feeling.

I've experienced this phenomenon again and again as I see friends (Wow, I see why we're friends!), enjoy my apartment and ease back into school life.  My concept of time has also shifted.  Before I left for India, I was constantly focused on my next step, next post, next project, next meal, next social event, go, go, GO!  Now I can step back and see all of the tremendous things that have already happened this year.  It really takes the internal pressure off to see how much I've already accomplished and not feel that nagging, urgent feeling to constantly need more.

Gratitude.  That's the overall essence of this week.  I'm so grateful for my life with it's bumps, beauty and love.  There is so much goodness, so many experiences waiting to manifest, so much learning and so much fun yet to have.  I don't have to force it, just flow with it.  Thank you for reading as I share this weird and amazing life.

India is calling!

Tomorrow I leave for India.  I have been dreaming of this trip for over two years.  Part of what drew me to Ayurveda was the opportunity to travel to India and see where yoga and Ayurveda were born.  I want to experience how it's really done, in the most authentic way possible.  This feels like more than just a trip.  It feels like a spiritual voyage way outside my comfort zone.  It may not be pretty or even enjoyable all the time, but I know it's exactly what I need.  My dad and I will be doing something called Panchakarma (which means 5 actions).  It's a cleansing treatment that will take place over our 17 days.  I'm not sure what the Ayurvedic doctors will recommend for me, but I'm hoping to find a new approach for healing my knee.  I'm excited to take day trips to temples or markets or ashrams.  Whatever opportunities present themselves will be perfect for me.

Friends have told me all kinds of crazy stories about India.  One friend shocked me with her story of a woman dumping her baby in her arms and yelling, "Better life with you!" before running away, leaving my frightened friend in the middle of the street bawling and overwhelmed.  I've been reading books and learning in preparation for my trip.  However, I already know that nothing will prepare me fully.  I'm ready to proceed into this crazy, beautiful unknown country with an open mind and a deep respect.  The wellness center, Ayurvedagram, will take care of us.  This first trip to India needs a little hand-holding.  As much as I love to explore and be the adventurous traveler, I don't yet know the rules for India.  I feel humbled at the thought of this crowded, vibrant country.  As I pack my bag and leave my phone at home, I know that these are the moments that enrich and define my life.  See you in three weeks!