This week I'm dedicating my blog post to my boyfriend, Kevin. We're celebrating our one-year anniversary, and I couldn't be more thrilled, thankful and happy about it. My heart and these feelings of connectedness and inspiration show me that I'm in the right place. I truly believe that relationships are assignments, opportunities to love, grow and learn. They bring all of our issues right up to the surface so we can look at them honestly. Kevin is often my mirror, showing me parts of myself that I didn't see before. I love him so much for engaging me in a loving, accepting and open way.
This week our country also celebrates Independence Day, the 4th of July. There is definitely a way to merge love, unity and independence. If I had to graph a healthy relationship with together time, social time and independent time, it might look like this:
Integrating independent time into my relationship has proven to be very important. Time to sleep, meditate, cook the foods I like, journal and see friends keeps me sane and balanced. I know that his alone time allows Kevin to do Crossfit, video games, watch sports and read. I don't need to be there for all those things. We each get to fuel ourselves independently so we can be present when we are together. It is a rich blend that allows us to give and receive love.
In Ayurveda, nourishment of the mind is equally as important as nourishment of the body. It is ideal to be surrounded by positive people and be at the Buddhi level of the mind, which helps us focus inward towards the truth rather than outward in search of momentary pleasures and happiness. Instead of needing Kevin to present me happiness on a platter, I know that I will find my happiness inside and then be able to share it with him. Instead of focusing on what I'm getting or not getting within the context of my relationship, I focus on ways to love, give, support and accept. Never before have I felt this happy, this calm and this sure of myself in a relationship.
As Donna Henes writes, "All borders and boundaries and separations are pure illusion. Each time we touch someone we leave some of our skin atoms behind and pick up a parcel of new ones in an intimate epidermal exchange. Thus we merge, quite literally becoming part of each other. I am you and you are me and we are we. We are all in this together, inextricably bound, riding on our beautiful blue planet through space and time. We are one team, one community, one world, one living, breathing entity. And the sooner we realize it, the happier, safer and saner we will be."
By celebrating my anniversary, honoring our country and engaging in loving friendships, I feel so connected to the people around me. May we celebrate Independence day as Interdependence day, honoring the loving bonds that unite and nourish us all.