Transformation

I can feel myself transforming. My world has been cracking open and allowing me to reconsider the possibilities of new adventures and dreams. A friend recommended a book and told me that I'd read it "when it was time." Apparently now is my time. This book is called the Alchemist by Paulo Coelho. If you haven't read it, go out and get you some....when it's your time, of course. This is my new favorite book and within the first few pages I knew I'd be reading it multiple times throughout my life. It's the kind of book that makes you want to take notes, journal and post quotes on your fridge, which, like an inspired writer nerd, I did.

"It's the possibility of having a dream come true that makes life interesting....And, when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you achieve it."

I'm envisioning travel, moves, try-outs, writing, risks, outside-my-comfort-zone activities while appreciating that lately I've been trying tons of new things. I'm transforming into a skier, a dancer, a writer, a National Board Certified teacher, a runner, an elected WEA council representative, a mentor. For the rest of my life I will be transforming. Someday I'd like to transform into a professional dancer, an Ayurvedic counselor, a wife, a mother, a racer, a professional writer.

The Alchemist describes each individual's Personal Legend, or calling. A few months ago, I had my tarot cards read, and she said that I'm entering into my true path, a transitional time for inner work, and that I will see lights or signs along the way, which the Alchemist describes as omens. She said that my immediate future is that of a shape-shifter, that I may not want things I used to want or when they come back they may look different. This all sounds mystic and cryptic, and that's why I love it. I absolutely love the idea that if sit back and watch, and listen, and ask questions, the answers will become obvious. This has happened to me recently in my love life, and I'm thankful. I was able to practice surrender and exit that situation gracefully. This is how I want to live, open and learning and growing.  I'm working hard and progressing forward, but letting go of everything else. For example, today I hit a wall with my National Boards. I felt like I had vomited up a million ideas and had no idea how they would mold together into anything comprehensible for Entry 4. My mentor even said, "Nicole, you look worried." I guess that's my look of concentration, followed by my look of determination (I am a Taurus, after all), followed by a long walk in the snow. Why? Because I wasn't going to push, force or demand anything else from myself today. The coffee shop is waiting for me tomorrow and Entry 4 will have a whole new light, accompanied with my organic shade-grown Mexican coffee on the clover.  I know, it's a thing of beauty.  Anyway, point is that change is happening.  I'm experiencing the transformation, one day at a time.  As I sit reading (or typing) in my cozy little condo, in my favorite area of town, in my single-girl free time, I know that I will miss these years of freedom when they're gone, so it's my job to soak them up and enjoy them now.  That's my Personal Legend.

I'm Accessorizing

Sometimes a girl needs a few accessories.  This week I splurged on new running shoes and knee-high green socks for the St. Patty's Day Dash. 

These may not sound like extravagant luxuries, but the small things make a big difference.  The idea of sparkling, new shoes makes me want to rush home and break them in.  I can already imagine myself dashing down the streets of Capitol Hill, grinning as I catch a glimpse of my shoes in the storefront windows.  The restaurants and bars on Broadway can't tempt me when I'm wearing new shoes.  I smile at fellow runners as we cruise around Volunteer Park.  In my new shoes.  Yes, I can see it now...

That's the best motivation that money can buy.  If that's all it takes to keep me running, then I'll consider it an investment.  My comfy feet, splint-less shins and healthy knees will thank me.  In new shoes.

Breaking My Own Rules

I'm changing the rules.  The one-month experiment feels restricting and rushed, so I'm extending it.  Sometimes I impose rules on myself that don't actually exist anywhere except in my own mind.  How to act, how to eat, what to say, what to wear, how to be a responsible teacher/daughter/friend... the list goes on and on.  It's so freeing to let go of the pressure I put on myself.  My blog is one small place where I can adjust the rules however I want, so here I go.

I'm still reading my Chi Running book and experimenting with new techniques and exercises.  I don't want to move on yet.  Stacy and I are running the St Patty's Day Dash on March 13th.  I just registered online and have this new challenge in my sights.  The website has a clock counting down the days, hours, minutes, seconds until the race.  I have 38 days to get ready.  38 more days of the Chi Running experiment.  38 days to break in new running shoes, 38 days to try out tips from my book, and 38 days to find cute green legwarmers to go with our little shorts and shamrock necklaces.  This is a timeline that feels more like me.

Just Breathe

"It is impossible for us to break the law ourselves.  We can only break ourselves against the law."  This quote by Cecil B. DeMille is used in Chi Running to demonstrate our tendencies to flow with or fight against the laws of nature.  Obviously rolling (or running) with the laws of nature is a more comfortable, effortless and fun way to go.  I like the idea of getting swept away, utilizing the pull of gravity, and floating along in an invigorating run.  I've been trying to remember this concept in other areas of my life as well.  Whatever I resist or try to control usually doesn't work out as well, leaving me feeling frustrated and disappointed.  Lately I've been focusing on surrender, releasing my grip on my own life and watching what unfolds. 

I especially connected with the idea of tapping into my chi through correct breathing.  By utilizing belly breathing instead of shallow breathing, I can stimulate my body's parasympathetic system.  As a result, my body releases a beneficial cocktail of hormones (namely serotonin and beta-endorphin), lowers heart rate and blood pressure, improves circulation, and produces an overall calming effect and feeling of well-being.  Yes, please!  The book recommends running with my mouth closed as a way to determine my correct running pace.  If I'm unable to hold a conversation and breathe normally and/or breathe through my nose, then I should slow down my pace until I build up my aerobic capacity.  It sounds like an interesting homework assignment!  Building my awareness through experimentation is exactly what my blog is all about.  The experiment itself, not the result, is where my joy is found.

Blister Blunders

My second Chi Running session with Stacy was punctuated with piercing pains in my left foot and a bloody sock decorated with foot skin.  Appetizing, I know.  This annoying blister has been making appearances in my left arch ever since I got my new orthodics.  My chiropractor claims that it's normal in the break-in process, but it's a major obstacle in my running.  As I continue to practice surrender and acceptance, I breathed in, remembered that even a short run counts and enjoyed the pink sunset with a good friend.

Muscle Recovery

Working the legs requires resting the legs.  I am in state of muscle recovery.  My Chi Running book promotes balance and listening to your body.  After a strong lap around Greenlake yesterday afternoon, my body told me to get into bed at 7:00pm.  I could barely keep my eyes open and my legs went on strike.  Perhaps I overdid it, but Chi Running with a fit partner motivated and inspired me.  I know this experiment is going to propel me towards running races again.  Stacy and I have the St. Patty's Day Dash in our sights for mid-March.

During the run, we focused on the idea of a needle in cotton.  This image helps me remember that my spine and my core muscles are like a gathered needle of energy from which all of my movements should originate.  My arms, shoulders, hands legs, hips, feet are the loose cotton that move easily and that are guided by the strong metal core.  We would occasionally shake out our arms and shoulders to release tension and let the core direct the show.

I also tried to envision the center point below my belly button and in front of my spine.  However, my heart felt like a more natural place to focus my attention.  Perhaps the yoga training and heart chakra work makes the heart my familiar meditative zone.  I could visualize being pulled forward through my chest and out of my heart.  It definitely helped to keep my head up and vision focused on a point in the distance.  I will keep experimenting with center points within my body.  Session number one of Chi Running is considered a success!

mission Greenlake

I am on the look-out for Chi runners.  They will be leaning slightly forward with a look of zen enjoyment on their faces.  These mystical beings will be using a mid-foot strike and gliding effortlessly around Greenlake.  I've been reading about this exhilarating technique, but would like to see it in practice.  These Chi runners will have a straight spine and be moving from their center, a place below the belly button and in front of the spine.  In my fantasties, these creatures will have a center that glows and helps them float right out of their sneakers.  I'll keep you posted on my Greenlake discoveries this afternoon.  Stay tuned.